The Mirage of Urgency and the Shifting Foundation
In the world of startup culture and high-growth firms, “pivoting” is often romanticized as a fast-paced, exciting shift in strategy. In my recent reality, a pivot is much more sober. It is the quiet, courageous decision to walk away from a chaotic environment and move toward one that offers the stability needed to rebuild and refocus.
Driven by a desire for impact and speed, I left a large organization to be part of a small team where I could influence the build and lead from inception. I wanted the rare chance to shape a culture and its processes in their early years, rather than fighting the “sludge” of embedded organizational habits. In large institutions, change is notoriously slow; it often feels like a slow dance in knee-deep mud, where every step forward is met with three steps back.
I traded that slow dance for the hustle of startups, and although I knew startups are messy, to experience “startup messy” is a different beast entirely. It is a world that is often volatile and unstable, where critical ego-driven decisions are made at the whim of one or very few.
I spent five years in the startup and MSP space, navigating both companies that demanded 60+ hour weeks within highly volatile environments. Eventually, I reached a breaking point – and so did the “hustle” narrative I had been following. I realized that the frantic sense of “urgency” was often just a mask for poor leadership and a complicit company culture. I knew this was unsustainable; I could no longer remain with a company where the foundation was constantly shifting beneath me.
The Move to Mission-Driven Work
I’ve recently accepted a new role with a local government organization. Coming back to the public sector has required a healthy dose of intellectual humility. I am returning with a much more nuanced appreciation for the very mindset I once criticized.
At my core, one of my primary values is Service – service mindset, servant leadership, and mission-driven work. I’ve realized that I am fundamentally better aligned with this mindset in the public sector, where the mission is the community, not profit margins or the preservation of the company itself. I am intentionally choosing a more regulated ecosystem so that I can:
1. Restore My Foundation: Stability as a Strategy
Self-leadership requires a clear head. Moving into a predictable environment allows me to move from a reactive state to a proactive “saving” mode, rebuilding the security that high-volatility roles can strip away. I am choosing a fair, reliable exchange for my expertise.
2. Focus on the 40: Reinvesting the 20
For the past several years, my “off-hours” didn’t truly exist. My mental equity was being fully consumed by companies that had no closing time. By moving back to a 40-hour week, I am reclaiming the capacity to engage in my own projects. I am reinvesting that extra 20+ hours back into my own “IPO”: my personal growth and my health.
3. Test My Excellence Mandate
I am fully aware of the public service mindset – the tendency to “coast” once one feels secure. However, my Self-Leadership challenge is to use this steady ground to build a more focused, intentional version of “Public Service Me” – one that moves toward a higher standard of personal excellence. I am choosing to lead toward that standard not because an external environment demands it, but because it is who I am, regardless of the pace around me.
Conclusion
A pivot isn’t about running away from a challenge; it’s about running toward a more sustainable version of success. For me, the most “leader-like” thing I have done is recognize that the “hustle” has a diminishing ROI.
If you find yourself in a season of chaos, remember: You don’t owe your health or your future to a sinking ship. Leading yourself means having the courage to choose the path that allows you to breathe, build, and win on your own terms.
Rebecca's iNSITE 
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